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There Is An Epidemic Of Divorce and Remarriage (Adultery)

[INTERNET POST BY UNKNOWN MAN Regarding Divorce and Remarriage] I really need some input here. If a Christian man (me) divorces his wife due to incompatibility and neglect (and various other mental anguish associated with a marriage that could not/would not be fixed even with MUCH prayer), and has a significant female other who is also a Christian and divorced due to abuse and mental cruelty, can they (we) marry each other after being truly forgiven by God for divorcing our spouses?

She and I are SO much in love and we want to serve the Lord together as husband and wife.

We have read the Bible and seen prohibition of marriage of divorced people, but we know so many Christian couples who are both divorced and remarried and have good, solid marriages and serve the Lord well.

Thanks for your help.

Bible Answer on Divorce and Remarriage] [ Find Out Who Was The Divorced Herodias Married To ]

Greetings in Jesus’ name. You said you really need some input. As a person who has spent thousands of hours reading and studying the Bible , and one who pastored for over 6.5 years in the Pittsburgh area, the following is my input:

(1) To divorce over “incompatibility and neglect” is not a legitimate reason, according to the Word of God! Please note Matt. 5:32:

“But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to commit adultery, and anyone who marries a woman so divorced commits adultery.”

Similarly, Scripture states:

“I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery” (Matt. 19:9).

“Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery” (Lk. 16:18).

“Some Pharisees came and tested him by asking, ‘Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?’ ‘What did Moses command you?’ he replied.

They said, ‘Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.’ ‘It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law,’ Jesus replied. ‘But at the beginning of creation God “made them male and female.” “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate.’ When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. He answered, ‘Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery’ ” (Mk. 10:2-12).

Signs a Marriage Cannot Be Saved

There are some marriage concerns, like abuse, that should be absolute deal-breakers. However, there are many more signs that are not so clear. Each of these issues should still be taken seriously.

Keep in mind that deciding whether or not to separate is a very complex and personal issue. Not all of the following signs alone indicate that your relationship can’t recover.

Divorce is hard, but for many, it’s harder and more painful to live disconnected and disengaged emotionally from your partner. Indeed, the toll negative relationships take on physical and mental health can be huge.

Some research suggests that chronically negative or abusive relationships can even shorten your lifespan.


An abusive relationship needs to end. Abuse is never acceptable and no one deserves it or should have to live with it. It’s important to seek support if you are dealing with abuse in your marriage. Keep in mind that abuse is not always physical and can come in other forms, including emotional abuse and verbal abuse.

If you or a loved one are a victim of domestic violence, contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 for confidential assistance from trained advocates.

For more mental health resources, see our National Helpline Database.

Lack of Affection or Intimacy

While couples may go through periods of more and less physical intimacy throughout their marriage, a sexless marriage could be a sign that there are underlying issues that need to be resolved in order for the relationship to survive.


If your partner led you to believe you two were the only people in your marriage, but then you find out that’s not the case—you’ve been deceived. On top of that, bigamy is illegal.

Criminal Behavior

Finding out your partner has a criminal background can be challenging to get past, especially if the crime is very severe. Not only is there a sense of broken trust, but you may question if you know your partner as well as you thought you did. It’s difficult to forgive lying in a relationship, and this is serious lie designed to cover up a serious issue.

Constant Criticism

Is your partner always putting you down? This could be bad for your health. One 2020 study published in Health Psychology found that negative relationship quality after five years—specifically involving criticism received from a partner—was linked to an older adult’s risk of mortality.

Criticism is also one of the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse which clinical psychologists Drs. John and Julie Gottman use to predict the end of a marriage. The other three red flags: stonewalling, defensiveness, and contempt.

30-90 Days

In Rhode Island, a marriage entered into within three months after a divorce is void. Likewise, in Massachusetts, the divorce doesn’t become absolute until 90 days after the Court grants a Decree nisi. This means a subsequent marriage during that 90-day period is void in all states. However, by statute, if the subsequent marriage was a ceremony and the new spouse married in good faith without the knowledge that the other spouse was still legally married, the new marriage will be considered valid once the 90-day period runs. In Alabama, marriage to a third party is void if it takes place in Alabama within 60 days after a divorce, but would be valid if the marriage takes place legally in another state. There is no waiting period in Alabama if you remarry your last spouse again. In D.C., a marriage is void if it takes place within the 30-day appeal period. In Texas, marriage to a third party within 30 days is voidable. Kansas also has a 30-day waiting period unless the parties specifically waive it in their Decree. Similarly, in North Dakota, there is no waiting period as long as that is stated in the Decree.

Divorce on the Grounds of Adultery

In the states above, the post-divorce waiting period applies regardless of whether the divorce is based on a no-fault grounds or a fault grounds like adultery. In contrast, while South Dakota has no waiting period for getting remarried after a no-fault divorce, when the divorce grounds is adultery, the adulterous spouse cannot marry anyone, except the former spouse, as long as the former spouse is living. That being said, if the adulterous spouse marries a third party outside South Dakota, the marriage is valid, but voidable in South Dakota. Prior to 1970, Tennessee had a similar restriction in cases of divorces on adultery grounds, which prohibited the adulterous spouse from marrying the person with whom they had committed adultery while the former spouse was still living. However, Tennessee has since eliminated any impediment to marriage post-divorce.

StatePost-Divorce Remarriage Waiting Period
Alabama60 days to third person; none if to same person
District of ColumbiaMarriage void if within 30-day appeal period
Florida None
Kansas30 days unless waived in Decree
Massachusetts90 days
Nebraska6 months if to 3rd party; 30 days if same spouse
New HampshireNone
New JerseyNone
New MexicoNone
New YorkNone
North CarolinaNone
North DakotaNone as long as stated in Decree
OklahomaMarriage is voidable if within 6 months
Rhode Island3 months
South CarolinaNone
South DakotaNone (adultery exception)
TexasMarriage to 3rd party within 30 days is voidable
West VirginiaNone
WisconsinVoidable if within 6 months
Wyoming None

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Presentation on theme: “Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage Answering Common Errors.”— Presentation transcript:



Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage Answering Common Errors

Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage Answering Common Errors


God Binds the Husband and Wife Together in a Covenant The covenant lasts until the death of a spouse (Rom. 7:2-3). Divorce and remarriage results in adultery. Only exception: fornication (Matt. 19:9).

God Binds the Husband and Wife Together in a Covenant The covenant lasts until the death of a spouse (Rom.


1. Adultery in the Heart “But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matt. 5:28). Some claim this constitutes the exception set forth by the Lord (5:32, 19:9) and thus allows the “innocent party” to divorce and remarry.



1. Adultery in the Heart Looking to lust is a sin. – We must keep our heart pure from sinful thoughts. – Pornography is a sin. However, lusting in the heart is not the violation cited by the Lord in Matthew 5:32 and 19:9.

1. Adultery in the Heart Looking to lust is a sin.


1. Adultery in the Heart They are different words in both English and Greek. – adultery – moicheuo – fornication – porneia They are different actions. – A lust is a thought. – Fornication is a physical action. – Fornication is a sin committed with two physical bodies (1 Cor. 6:12-20).

1. Adultery in the Heart They are different words in both English and Greek.


2. Non-Christians are not Accountable to God’s Marriage Law God’s marriage law cited by the Lord in Matthew 19 (Gen. 2) predates any covenant. It is universal; “whosoever” (Matt. 19:9). The only people to whom God’s marriage law does not apply are people who do not get married (Matt. 19:11-12). All men are going to be held accountable to the law of Christ (John 12:48).



3. “Not Under Bondage” “But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace” (1 Cor. 7:15). “Does this desertion sever God’s marriage bond?



3. “Not Under Bondage” “But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace” (1 Cor. 7:15). “Does this desertion sever God’s marriage bond? The believer is “not under bondage” to save the marriage at the cost of their faith. Nothing is said about being free to remarry. There has been no death or infidelity – the marriage bond is still enforced.



4. Baptism Washes Away the Old Marriage Bond “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new” (2 Cor. 5:17). Does baptism constitute a “reset button” for marriage covenants?



4. Baptism Washes Away the Old Marriage Bond The marriage covenant lasts until physical death (Rom. 7:2-3), not spiritual rebirth. Baptism washes away sins, but it does not cause something that is sinful to cease being sinful. Repentance precedes baptism (Acts 2:38) and produces fruits (Matt. 3:8; Acts 26:20).

4. Baptism Washes Away the Old Marriage Bond The marriage covenant lasts until physical death (Rom.



Download ppt “Marriage, Divorce, and Remarriage Answering Common Errors.”

Six Months

In Nebraska, you must wait six months after your divorce to marry a third party unless your former spouse dies during that time period. Wisconsin also has a six-month waiting period. If you marry during that time period, the marriage is voidable. “Voidable” means that as long as no one contests the new marriage, it will become valid once the waiting period has run. “Void” means the subsequent marriage is invalid because the previous marriage had not yet legally ended.

Divorce in Jesus’ Day

The aforementioned Scriptures about divorce and remarriage were given by the Lord Jesus. Clearly, he stated marital unfaithfulness (sexual immorality) is the only cause for a divorce [but the only example of such was when Joseph wrongly thought Mary was sexually immoral WHEN THEY WERE PLEDGED to be married and he was going to “divorce” (Mt. 1:19) her]! Hence, if one divorces his spouse for any other reason besides sexual immorality, regardless what that reason is, he is indicted by these verses! If such a person would then “marry” another, not only would he be committing adultery, but the person he “marries” would likewise be committing adultery! All people, who have never been married, need to know these facts before they consider marrying someone who might not be eligible for marriage again, namely a divorced person. When we consider passages like 1 Cor. 6:9,10 and Rev. 21:8, we can only conclude that an adulterous marriage, as referred to in Matt. 5:32 and 19:9, will result in both parties being thrown into the lake of fire, that is, unless that ceases and they find forgiveness for their adultery.

The Innocent Party In A Divorce

On the other hand, Lk. 16:18 seems to teach that even the innocent party in an unscriptural divorce that remarries becomes guilty of adultery:

“Whosoever putteth away his wife, and marrieth another, committeth adultery: and whosoever marrieth her that is put away from her husband committeth adultery (KJV).”

The Apostle Paul gave these instructions about remarriage to the Christians of his day:

“And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart [or separate as some translation have it] from her husband: But and if she depart, LET HER REMAIN UNMARRIED, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away. And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace” (1 Cor. 7:10-15).

The Greek word for “depart” in verses 10, 11 and 15 is also found at Matt. 19:6 and Mk. 10:9 as used with divorce:

“Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”

“What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”

But then on the other hand that same Greek word does not have to refer to divorce:

“After these things Paul departed from Athens, and came to Corinth” (Acts 18:1).

“For perhaps he therefore departed for a season, that thou shouldest receive him for ever” (Philemon 15).

Until Death Do We Part, Then Remarriage

The widow could also remarry, but only IF her spouse dies:

“For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage. So then, if she marries another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress, even though she marries another man” (Rom. 7:2,3).

“A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to marry anyone she wishes, but he must belong to the Lord” (1 Cor. 7:39).

(2) You mentioned getting forgiven for “divorcing our spouses.” Please know that there is no such thing in Scripture as getting forgiven from the sin of divorce! This subtle twisting of the Word regarding getting forgiven over the sin of “divorce” has led some to go through with it, then remarry, hence committing adultery themselves and causing their new “spouse” to become guilty of the same sin. Without a doubt, in many cases, a remarriage is the world’s term for what the Lord taught is adultery. Remarriage would be adultery in God’s eyes because it is an unrecognized marriage as far as He is concerned. (A remarriage is justified when the spouse dies.)

READ MORE ABOUT: Adultery, Divorce And An Illegitimate Marriage

(3) When Jesus spoke of committing adultery over an illegitimate marriage, as cited in Matt. 5:32 and 19:9, a CONTINUOUS-TENSE ADULTERY is what would result. This would be impossible if one would illegitimately marry a person, then repent of his sin of divorce and an illegitimate marriage and go on as if it was now a marriage recognized by Almighty God .


  • https://www.evangelicaloutreach.org/divorce.htm
  • https://www.verywellmind.com/is-your-marriage-worth-saving-2302141
  • https://www.divorcewriter.com/how-long-remarry-after-divorce
  • https://slideplayer.com/slide/10902320/
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